The Big 4-OH So What

In a matter of hours I will turn 40 and while I still don’t consider myself old, I think it’s fair to say I’m entering the territory of No Longer Young. The Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive” was the number one song on the day I was born. Disco, ya’ll. I was born in the era of Disco.
But you know what? I’m truly not mourning the loss of my youth or any such ridiculousness. In all honesty, I am the most content, peaceful and confident I’ve ever been. I am typically among some of the oldest moms in my group of friends. And while I can certainly appreciate their energy level, I would never want to go back and do those years again. So much of that time I spent trying to self-censor or bend my shape into something more pleasing to outside influences.
But what liberation comes with age! I’ve often jokingly said that I can’t wait to be an old lady because I am going to say and do exactly what I want. It’s like a free pass. But in that middle ground, there really is a freedom that accompanies wisdom. You’ve lived through enough junk and met enough characters to say with some loving authority “That’s bullshit.” And in regard to friendships, you gain a confidence in being able to tell a dear friend what she needs to hear even if it’s not what she wants to hear. These situations take trust, maturity and diplomacy. And not one of those things happens overnight.
I think of all the amazing women over forty that I know. These are women who are grounded, successful, and at peace with themselves. And when I say “successful,” I am not necessarily referring to wealth or status. Success looks different to me now. It’s opening your home and heart to usher in those coming after you. It means embracing a position of mentorship, loving more fearlessly and giving more freely.
There have been special people who have poured into me over the years. Former bosses, mentors, and friends have walked with me through dark seasons. With ease, I recall the comfort of their presence, the security of their wisdom. I needed them to look up to. They weren’t magic, they were just there ready to love and listen.
I’ve found in recent years that the tables have turned. If my friend is struggling I want to walk with her through it. And I do. And the best way I know how to do this is to keep growing. It means sticking around, embrace life at any age. You always have something to offer. You’ve got to stick around.
So whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother…well, you know. And if you don’t know, quietly congratulate yourself on your youthful inability to catch the reference.