What Alice Knew (Part 1)

Alice was an adventurous child. She ran through weeds and tall grass barefoot and fearless.

“There’s snakes, Alice! Aren’t you afraid you’ll get bitten?” Her grandmother once called after her.

“I ain’t been bit yet!” She replied without slowing or looking back.

Snakes, in fact, were a point of interest for Alice. She was fascinated by snakes, sharks and scorpions. She was drawn to strange and dangerous things. Had she ever been analyzed by a professional they may have flagged this and had some insight for what future darkness was to fall upon her.

But her parents didn’t take much notice of it all. They described her as very bright and strong-willed. Teachers described her as quiet, respectful and a good student.

As she ran she stopped when something black broke the landscape’s bland palette. She walked closer, pushing through weeds and thistles until a loud fluttering caught her off guard. Two vultures bolted up and startled her, but didn’t stop her. She knew what vultures did and so she inched closer in anticipation.

It was a dead cat. She recognized him as he was one of the strays who roamed their land. His stomach had been torn up and mostly eaten and his head was turned away from her. Flies were crawling all over it. Alice scanned the weeds and parted them in search of a stick. When she found one she approached the cat. Every part of her was desperate to see what his face looked like and she inched closer, leading with the poking stick. Flies were swarming now and she was close enough to hear them….only three inches between her stick and the dead head….

“Dammit Alice!!”

Her father’s booming voice jolted her from the trance and she jumped back and dropped the stick. She winced, sensing the scolding to come. He rushed over and grabbed her arm so quickly he practically dragged her the first two feet before she started moving fast enough to keep up.

“What are you thinking, sister?? You got no more sense than touching a dead animal? I ought to whip your sorry butt!”

Tears welled up in her eyes as they reached the steps of their front porch and he let her go.

“You sit there and don’t you move until I say, you hear me?”

“Yessir.”

She cupped her face with both hands and held her head in her lap as she cried. It wasn’t the whipping she feared as that was a common empty threat. It was that he was upset with her at all. 

A few minutes passed before he returned and joined her on the steps. He took his pack of Marlboro Reds out of his shirt pocket and lit one. He eyed the arm he’d aggressively grabbed and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Ya alright?” This was his best version of an apology. 

She looked up to meet his eyes. “Yessir.”

“You can’t be doing any more weird shit like that, Alice. Especially not now.” He furrowed his brow and looked out across the field. “Not now when every crusty, old bitty has their eyes on us. Bunch of muckrakers is all they are.”

Alice’s teenage sister Dana had been close with their mother Marcy.  But the 17 year old had a horrible falling out with her mother, which prompted her to runaway in March. There was no note, no phone call, nothing. That was the first bite of juicy gossip for the small town. And then out walked the second…

Marcy came out through the screen door and sat on the other side of Alice on the steps.

“What’s going on, Sugar Bear?”

Alice looked to her dad, hoping he’d answer for her. 

“You tell your mama,” He stood up and walked into the house.  “I’m going in to watch the game.”

“I just wanted to see it up close. It was dead anyway!”

“Sugar, what are you talking about?”

“Dead cat. Found it out past the barn.”

“Oh no! Was it the Sullivan’s kitty, Whiskers?”

“No it was that little black one, didn’t belong to nobody.”

Marcy’s demeanor shifted away from concern.

“Oh that cat. Yeah he was a real A-S-S-hole.” She frowned as she sipped her whiskey on the rocks.

“Mom, you know I can spell right?”

“What?!” Marcy tried to cover up. “Well you think you know what I spelled? Do you really know what a Mass Hole is?!” She asked laughingly.

Alice recognized her mother was lying but played along anyway.

“Yeah it’s what you call Uncle Robert because he’s from Masssacussetts…and because he’s an…ummmm…”

“Asshole, Sugar Bear.” She downed the rest of her whiskey.

“Generally little girls got no business cursing.” Then she leaned in close, forehead to forehead with her and whispered “…but for Uncle Robert I’ll make an exception.”

“Well daddy got real mad at me.”

“Daddy does that sometimes.”

“Mommy, what’s a muckraker?”

“A muckraker?  Girl, where you getting these big words?” She asked with a smile. “Come on,” she tapped her on the leg and stood up. “Come on inside with me.”

“Daddy said not to do weird stuff because of …muckrakers.” Alice followed her mother into the kitchen as Marcy refilled her whiskey and took a big sip. Then she checked her watch. 

“Oh shoot! Dale is gonna be here any minute! We’re carpooling to work, you know. Should be a really good night for tips.” She darted down the hall to the bathroom, Alice shadowing quickly behind. 

“Huh….” Alice furrowed her brow and stared off for a moment before remembering her question. “So….muckraker?”

“Yes, muckraker,” Marcy brushed her thick blonde hair out until it lay beautifully across her neckline, all waves and shine. “Well honey, a muckraker is a busybody, that’s all.” She opened her makeup drawer and rifled around.  She grabbed a red lipstick and was thickly layering her lips when she caught the reflection of her daughter’s confused face. 

“Look Sugar Bear, you ain’t got to worry about people like that.”

“Like what Mama?!” She whined with frustration.

She turned around and knelt down to her level. 

“There’s always gonna be gossips, people gonna talk trash, spread lies, stuff like that. That’s what happens living in this tiny town. Tiny people, Alice. Just small minded, tiny people. But YOU. You’re different,” She smiled as she brushed Alice’s long brown hair away from her face. “You’re something special. You’re too big for this town, beautiful girl.” Adoringly Marcy held her daughter’s forearms and gazed into her deep brown eyes. “You’ll grow up, move onto some better place…maybe even a big city!” Marcy beamed and her red and white smile sparkled.

“Is that why Dana left?”

“What?”

“Dana. You think maybe she was too good for this place too? So she had to go and find some other kind of place?”

Marcy dropped Alice’s arms, stood up and backed away from her. Stoic and cool instantly replaced her sparkle and shine.

“I don’t want to hear you speak that name again.”

Alice stood silently and lowered her eyes to the blue bathmat in front of the shower as she waited for the tension to pass. Thankfully, the horn blast from Dale’s pick-up saved her.

Marcy shuffled back into the kitchen for one more swig of whiskey before running out to the front porch to meet him.

Alice ran to the front window to watch her mother leave. She was 35 but passed easily for 25. As she was running out to the truck the breeze caught her blue gingham skirt and she had to hold it down with her free hand. Dale leaned across and opened the truck door for her and smiled.

Alice didn’t see her smile back but she didn’t have to. Instead, she asked the question she already knew the answer to.

She turned around to her dad on the couch and asked, “Do you think Mr. Dale and…”

“Dammit Alice!” 

His voice boomed but this time there was no grabbing her arm, no pulling her. Instead his angry tone softened when he saw her quivering lip.

“Dammit sister, “ he whispered in resignation and motioned to the open seat beside him, “Come watch the Astros with me.”

She ran over to the couch and cozied up beside him, letting a few secret tears out but quickly wiping them away. 

“Can we watch some Shark Week instead?”

“Why? They gonna have shark attacks? He gave her a side gland through his narrowed eyes.”

“Um. No, I don’t think so…”

“Hmmm. Well, we’re sticking to the ’Stros tonight.

“Ok. They gonna win, daddy?”

“Nah, they’re no good tonight. But I love them anyway.”